Fear Can Stop us Achieving our Dreams

Fear Can Stop us Achieving our Dreams

By Heather Bunting

How often do we dream of doing something, only to find ourselves fearful and not pursuing that dream?

Fear is a necessary emotion – it keeps us safe from physical danger and can also keep us safe from other threats.

But do we sometimes find that fear keeps us away from things which may seem threatening but may not be threatening for other people?

For example, we may want to ask someone we like the look of to join us for a drink, but are afraid they may say ‘no’ or think we’re stupid. We might want to have a different job but are too afraid to try for fear of being rejected. We may want to go somewhere but our fear of what will be there, or how we will be when we’re there, gets in the way.

It’s often about how we will look, what people will think, whether we will be good enough, smart enough, enough, enough, enough!!!

Could it be that we think those types of thoughts and feelings are true or that we cannot overcome those sorts of fears?

Perhaps if we focus more on our dreams or what we would like to do, rather than what we cannot do, could we then see a different picture?

One way of looking at things is that our thoughts determine our behaviour. So if we think a situation will be fearful then perhaps we will act in a way that confirms this. If we can change our thinking may be the same situation will not be as fearful.

Let’s take an example. Let’s say we dream of a better paying job or a more satisfying job. Our (fearful) thoughts may tell us we are stupid and don’t have a chance of getting a better job. This causes us to not search for other jobs or not to apply for other jobs or not do some extra study to find another job, or whatever will help us.

But if we decide to set aside that thought about us having no chance, and consider that we could have a chance, that we could dream of something better, then that will allow something different to happen.

And we will never know what could happen unless we try! Our efforts to step outside our fear may truly surprise us!

If you would like some help overcoming your fears I would encourage you to see one of our counsellors – send us an email via the Contact page!

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